In Dating, Relationships

It’s not unordinary for people to get into a long-distance relationship ever so often. As a rule, such couples usually become victims of different circumstances that lead to this situation. For example, this can happen because of a change in the workplace or relocation because of an ill family member. Another common reason is meeting a significant another while on a business trip or vacation in another city or country. And once the period of stay is over, the couple decides to continue the relationship. Finally, a couple that met on the Internet through a dating website can consciously take a step towards maintaining romantic feelings.

The long-distance relationship usually implies people getting together at some point and continuing their relationship at the same place. In other words, the goal is to stay together until the couple can finally reunite. Without this goal, the end of the relationship is likely to be overshadowed by a breakup. Another factor that has a great influence on whether such relationship will unravel with a happy ending depends on the maturity of both. For example, students are usually the ones to try to keep a long-distance relationship going after going to schools in different cities, states, countries. As much as it is difficult to admit, at that age, it is very easy to get carried away and fall in love with someone else. One has to be strong and motivated enough to withstand various kinds of temptations, which is usually more difficult than people think. In addition, there must be a high level of trust between two people, without trust there will be no chance to keep a long-distance relationship going. 

How to keep a long-distance relationship going:

1. Avoid the temptations.

Do not allow yourself to be in situations that can lead to the deception of your partner. Do not spend every weekend with your attractive colleague or acquaintance. Visit lounge places and drink in moderation. Knowing yourself, define the limits of your own behavior, and do not cross the boundaries.

 2. Determine the model of your communication at the very beginning. 

At an early stage of developing relationships discuss ways of how you will keep in touch (telephone, messengers, social networks), at what time and for how long. This can help determine the most realistic expectations and avoid possible misunderstanding, anxiety, and frustration. 

3. Increase the priority of communicating with each other. 

You may have to make an effort to make changes to your daily routine in order to determine a convenient time for both of you, which will be devoted to communication, especially if the distance between you includes a time difference. But if you do not want to ever see your significant other again, consider another option: maybe a long-distance relationship is not for you. 

4. Avoid excessive communication. 

Despite the above tips, being obsessive is not a good idea. Of course, communication with your partner should be a priority for you, but it should not be overwhelming. Learn how to give each other space. Do not overdo it, try to not spend all your free time texting and talking on the phone. Allow yourself to miss each other. 

5. Respect your personal “virtual” space. 

Do not assume that you must respond to each message the moment you receive it and do not expect your second half to immediately respond to each text message you send. 

6. Maintain honesty and frankness. 

Being in a long-distance relationship makes it easier to hide what you have in mind. If you value trust and sincerity less than having to create a good impression, it will be much more difficult for you to figure out how well you fit together. 

7. Learn to listen and maintain an engaging conversation. 

Communication is the basis of any relationship, but when you are in a long-distance relationship, people often share everything that comes to mind. Learn to listen carefully to your other half and ask the right questions, this will help you understand her better. 

8. Find new topics for communication.

Most couples go through periods when they have to come up with new topics for conversation, besides discussing how the day went. When you start to drown in everyday life, make a little more effort to ask new questions to keep the interest going. 

9. Do not avoid difficult questions. 

As your relationship gets more serious, do not try to avoid questions that may lead to an uncomfortable conversation for you. Be open to sincerity by practicing a discussion of issues that make you feel vulnerable. If you are committed to a perfect relationship, you need to be ready to talk about everything. 

10. Common interests.

It is easier to understand how to interact in a long-distance relationship if you share common interests. So read, watch and listen to the same books, news, videos, music, etc. Common interests will help you share experiences and discuss new topics. 

11. Diversify communication.

If you are used to always talking on the phone, try to switch it up and send each other letters. When writing to each other, you are able to think and express yourself differently than during a conversation. Letters will provide you with plenty of time to reflect more deeply on complex issues. In addition, they can later act as “souvenirs of the past” when you re-read them again. 

12. Discuss problems.

Share existing problems with each other, and also tell how each of you usually acts when you are under stress or fatigue. Offer your girlfriend or boyfriend the help and support you can give during such moments. 

13. Discuss disagreements only in person. 

Never voice any disagreements in a relationship through text messages, because this method can lead to serious misunderstandings. Comprehend the existing claims and report them in person or at least by phone. 

14. Learn to control emotions.

A long-distance relationship is often accompanied by strong contrasting emotions, alternating ups, and downs. A feeling of strong loneliness, uncertainty, doubt and fear can arise spontaneously. If unpleasant emotions are replaced by the opposite, it cam creates a sense of extreme excitement, joy, and happiness. Learn to recognize and manage your own emotions that will surely pay off for you in the future. If you do not know how to do this, read about it or start meditating. 

15. Learn to control jealousy. 

Jealousy is a completely natural emotion experienced during any relationship. At the same time, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to suspicion, excessive feeling of possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame.

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