” How to move on and how to know you’re ready “
They say time is a great healer, but after a painful break-up, it seems to be your worst enemy. It feels like its moving painfully slow as each second pierces your heart with a thousand arrows. Moving on after a break-up, in many ways, is the toughest thing to do.
Why is it so hard?
It is not just about getting over a relationship. After a break-up, it is common to experience a cycle of undeniable emotions. It is all about picking up the pieces of your life and making a fresh start.
Some events can be so excruciating that denial is the first emotion you face. You may think this situation is just a small hiccup, that the break-up will not last. Some may think it is only a matter of time until they get back together again. This is a particularly painful stage as places, people, and even small things can bring back memories. In such a situation, one needs to remind themselves to call a friend or spend time with family. What’s over is gone, it is time to look forward and move on to the next phase of your life.
Anger and Irritation
You can’t believe you wasted so much time and effort on a partner who didn’t appreciate you. There is so much anger you have with yourself, your ex, and the world in general. Next, you start promising yourself to never to let anyone hurt your emotions again. At this point, any person going through such emotions will start building a wall to prevent it from happening again.
Your self-esteem takes a beating after you’ve been dumped. Someone who validated your presence now doesn’t care about you anymore, let alone love you. It is a bitter pill to swallow. Always remember, if someone leaves you for someone else it is not your fault. Just because in a library filled with classics, someone chooses Dostoevsky over Hemmingway, doesn’t make Hemmingway a bad writer.
So you think you are over your ex, but how do you really know you are ready to move on? Pay attention to your behavior. If you stopped comparing women of interest to your ex, you are ready! Sometimes it can take months to get over pain, betrayal, and loneliness. But you can do it! Don’t push people away just because sometimes it might feel like you are not ready. Accept your relationship as a learning tool and cherish the precious memories you had. The important thing is to resolve possible anger, pain, insecurity, and intimacy issues. You really don’t want to carry a ton of emotional baggage to your next relationship.
Some sturdy sympathetic shoulders will be needed during this crucial phase, so make sure you have plenty of friends and family around for support.